Pizza for Breakfast

So a college kid's life is certainly an odd one. This morning, for example, I had pizza for breakfast. I walked right into the food court at 9:00a.m. and was instantly assaulted by our friendly asian lady who works the counter at the Pizza Shak.

"How ah' you today? You want some pizz-ah?"
"I'm fine thanks, how are you?"
"How ah' you today? You want some pizz-ah?"
"Uh... yes. yes I would."
"How ah' you today? You want some pizz-ah?"
"Pepperoni please."
"How ah' you today? You..."

And so on... until I took my pizza up to the nice cashier lady, paid for it, and watched the "Chronicles of Riddick Trailer" while I ate my pizza it with a fork. This is basically my schedule once per week, the other days of the week i just skip breakfast... I wonder what my doctor would say about that?

The best part about the whole thing is that i just barely had granola and yogurt for lunch...

Jobless

I have just spent the past hour searching the internet, and the undernet, and the outernet, and all the nets that i can get my hands on, for job listings in Logan ut. I am here to testify, THERE ARE NO JOBS HERE!

Since when is it all about "who you know?" Where on earth did that come from? I know there has got to be a job up here, but i just dont have the right connections to get it. Is it always gonna be that way? I guess that's why families are getting closer together, it's no longer about my competence as an employee. it's who's dad knows my dad... Which is ok if i want a job with in the Battle Creek stake. Or at a Spa Company.

Otherwise, I'm just gonna have to trudge out on my own... become the man that everybody wants to hire! Employers will flock to me! I will have job offers coming upon me as the dews from heav'n distilling! Yeah... now if i can just figure out how to get to that point...

I'm Having a Dipole Moment

Today's post is simply because I want to write something. First off, I had a wonderful weekend with my beautiful fiance. I had the opportunity to attend one of her FIVE wedding showers... It was certainly a well done party, I felt a little out of place, (obviously) but soon enoughthe ladies got used to the idea that i wasnt going to simply disappear, and the angry looks subsided.

We also got to go to the Draper temple dedication, which was absolutely amazing. I felt the power of the spirit testify to my heart that this church is true. I also felt so right sitting with my amsy... I cant wait for may 2...

Wedding Lore

So who was the first couple to have a reception? Who was the first bride to heave her bouquet over her head and into the horde of unmarried screaming ladies who each secretely hate the bride for getting married before them. And who on earth came up with the wedding line?

Wedding traditions seem to have existed from the beginning of time, but honestly if Adam and Eve were able to get married while naked in a jungle, where on earth did we come up with what we've got now. Wedding pictures, engagement pictures, bridal pictures, pictures of the temple, pictures of the parents, pictures of the uncles, pictures of the aunts... the uncle's aunt and the aunt's ulcers!

I suppose it is all a one package deal, if you want to marry the girl you love you simply have to decorate the gym and wheel in the larger than life chocolate fountain replica of the "Fontana Dei Quattro Fiumi" (Fountain of the Four Rivers) If I get my amsy for time and eternity after that, then it's all worth it!

Potto' gold

So, honestly I've never gotten that into St. Patricks day, I am one of those people Katy talked about in her blog that ignore some holidays. I think it all stems back from first grade, standing in a row with 30 other poor classmates singing an irish jig with a stupid paper beard and a funny hat, and all the while there are no presents or candy to be found. It's just gloomy mid march...

Why dont we celebrate something else around this time? I mean it is the Ides of March... That's a cool thing to celebrate. The ides of march means March 15, and it is the infamous day of Julius Caeser's assasination. The First despot of Rome! We should can the whole green thing and go with togas. The pot of gold becomes a heather wreath, and the little leprechauns become cute little conspirators, ready to assasinate anyone at a moments notice. The pinching would have to give way to mock stabbing. "Haha! Your not wearing a heather wreath! Take this!" "Et tu, Brute?" I can see this becoming a great family tradition.

Little Red Wagon

"When considering titles for each post, you must carefully consider exactly what you are trying to portray to the reader. The title should be catchy and clever, easy to read, and valuable in understanding exactly what the post is saying to the world. For example, "Pests" is an excellent way to open a paragraph about small singing hairy vermin, or "First Post" is an accurate description of the first post on your blog." Proper Blogging Content pg 342

This post is mostly worthless, im just bored. Done with school for the day, waiting for my roommates to be ready to go get food from the Walmarts, and i figure that if i just start writing a post, something has got to come to my brain about what to write.

...nope.

Well that was a huge waste of your time. sorry!

Off to walmarts!

How much is that toyota in the window?

Somewhere near the heart of downtown Salt Lake City lies a strange world i had never seen, nor even dreamt of before today, deep shadowed mysteries crept along the edges of my vision as i took my first steps into...
THE TWILIGHT ZONE

"Please resist the urge to turn your opening paragraph into something that can be mistaken as a movie trailer. You may think it's eyecatching, you may find it clever, or original, you may even believe deep in your heart that such an interesting paragraph will double your number of followers and earn your blog a Newbery or Caldecott medal. In all actuallity, it isn't, and it won't."
-Page 3994, Proper Blogging Content

Today i went to a very boring place where i did some boring things and then drove home the boring way. I had to go get a drivers side door for the family's '91 camry, I went to a place that looked as if all the cars in the world had spontaneously exploded on the freeway and happened to land in piles near the side of the city cesspool.

After paying a greasy young lad a clean crisp $100.oo I was rewarded with the opportunity to carry the entire drivers side door to my car in anticipation of installing it when i got home...

Alas my cheery disposition at deconstructing and reconstructing an automobile were severely stifled when to my utter dismay i realized that the Japanese not only refuse to use the Imperial (inches) system, but they somehow have confounded the all knowing all seeing METRIC system... The bolts to attatch the door to the car are precicely 11.5 mm. so i have two options, wait until they invent a 11.5 mm wrench, or drive around without a door...

Any helpful hints?

Rod Sterling Voiceover... "In a world divided, a constant war between good and evil, light and dark, imperial and metric, we need to ask ourselves, what if reality is actually neither..? Such may be the case in... The Twilight Zone."

My morning as a UVU student

Seein' as how my spring break is conveniently at odds with my Fiance's  have taken the opportunity to join the crowds at the Utah Valley and raise my voice in singing praises to their mighty badger. 

The drive on Geneva at 3:45 am was great, without a hitch, totally a flawless bit of driving, skills unseen for the past century. Henry Ford would be proud, Jeff Gordon would be jealous. 

At least that's what it would have been like if amy had driven...

Actually, "manual illiterate samm" spent all morning sp- asm-ing the ca-ar  in a  je- erky st-o-op and sta-art mo-tion... untilhefinallygotthehangofitbeforekillingitinthe parking lot.... sigh...

Then I went to Astronomy with amy. All im gonna say is... lazyboys in a dark room. 

Next was the HoneyBran Muffin (Look for starrmannsamm's hit single "Honeybran Muffin" sold in stores everywhere) and chocolate milk while walking the outside mile, in the cold... uphill. all the way... to Biology. These are the stories i can tell my kids when they complain about waiting for the bus in -23 degree weather.

Biology was squeaky. My fine amsyface found it hilarious to seat me in the squeakiest chair known to mankind, (and all cellular microbes) The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but the squeaky chair has not seen any grease for a while. During the instructor's presentation, i squeaked at the most akward points accompanied by a chorus of amy giggles. 

Now im dropping amy off at work... im gonna miss her. 

And i get to drive her car home... jo-oy. 

Chem Mystery

Page 507 of Proper Blogging content reads, "It can be clever to use puns in the title of your blog, for example, 'Chem Mystery' instead of Chemistry, or 'Miss Communication' instead of miscommunication. But don't overdo it."

So, if any of the 6 people who know that this blog exists happens to enjoy chemistry, i apologise in advance, especially because i will probably need your help before the final...

CHEMISTRY BITES!

I have a personal vendetta against Planck and Avagadro and all those other pseudo scientists who decided to make my college experience a living nightmare by discovering why chemistry works. Frankly I could go through my life very content just knowing that the air is breathable and that the right fuel will send a rocket into space. I have no passion or desire to know that the fumes of chlorine will turn Litmus paper Red. No care! Not one. I could live my life in total ignorance of the existance of litmus paper and be a very happy man.

Just as soon as I discover exactly how I created matter during my last chemistry experiment i will begin to care. Seeing as how that is technically impossible, but until then I will suffer throught this semester of pain and ponder as to why Chem 1210 is even in the course curriculum for Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering...

Rats, got to go study for my Chemistry Mid-term. Wish me luck.

Miss Communication

Page 763 of Proper Blogging Content reads, "Although posting numerous times in one day is generally accepted, it is usually reserved for mothers with young children and old people with nothing better to do than talk about themselves, and is therefore prone to make you appear as one of those." (It's kind of a wierd book)

So with that in mind I'm posting for the second time today! It's been all of 2 hours since my first post, but i'd like to rant. and seein' as how this is my free blog it'll do.

How is it that in this the information age we seem to have more miscommunications? Information travels faster today than it did 50 years ago, for example instead of the horse drawn buggy and the wells fargo wagon we have the text message and the Email. The telephone itself is in danger of being grandfathered by the videochat. Yet at the same time i would like to point out that about 75% of the information is either being interpreted wrong or is simply wrong to begin with. Mathmatically, if 100% of the data is going 500% faster, yet only 25% of the information is actually correct, and then only 25% of that actually makes sense, and only 25% of that is actually useful, and then we take out taxes... (drop the three, carry the one...) I think we're actually understanding less than before!

That's why parents are so blasted wise. Those who are nearer to the Pony express days have an advantage, in that their information makes sense!

And if you happen to be one of those delightful fifty year olds, or you are offended by it, you can just count this post right out as a miscommunication.

Greene Manufacturing

Upon arriving only slightly late to Manufactuing class today I was greeted by "Dell the Fire Marshall" telling our class that there had been a huge explosion on the premisis. He explained that an acetalyne tank had been left open and explosive fumes had gathered near on of the gas powered heating elements. The pilot light had lit the gas and the entire place went up in flames.

Frankly i was shocked. I live all of 2 blocks from campus. You think i would have heard something.

Continuing he then told us of some discarded magnesium shavings in the shop that had created additional explosions. He said that arson couldnt be ruled out, but it wasnt a very likely possibility.

At this point i was about to raise my hand and ask exactly which building had gone up in apocalyptic doom. Luckily i held my tongue.

Finally Marshall Dell informed us that the two night guards that were at the scene were currently recovering at the Mercy Hospital.

Last I knew USU didnt have night guards wandering the halls...

Then our instructor came up and told us to split into our groups, we had an assignment to come up with a plan to find materials for our FAKE PROJECTS that we've been working on for a few weeks... So the whole explosion thing was a farce and i fell for it. D'uh! I guess it's sweet justice for being late.

And here i was all excited to look for the crater.

Manufacturing Class.

So here i am, sitting through my manufacturing class. Obviously i am paying all sorts of attention. We are currently discussing the delightfully riviting topic of chemical deburring. Most of the time i am asleep by this point, but this blog thing is helping my school work by keeping me awake! The instructor is a jovial old man, who told us earlier in the lecture that he will be going to Nauvoo next week:

"There may be many of you who have no idea what i am talking about, but for those of you who know, my wife and i will be helping with the idea of a nauvoo university."

Then he began a rant all about evolution and other various pseudo-sciences, I think this guy was a bishop at some point. Finally we began discussing the actual course material. And that is how Chemical Deburring came upon us.

We have since left that topic.

Now we're talking about buffing.

Spare me.

The First Post

Seeing as how this whole blogging bit has become a family tradition, i figured i might as well join in on the fun. This is also how i got my start on facebook. If the trend remains that i have established on the Facebook. This blog will swell with readers interested in my every movement... until they lose interest and my URL is buried with the rest of the unloved websites... (A place next to Napster and AOL is good by me.)

-Samm

PS: Am i supposed to sign blogs? This page looks like an email... so i guess it's just habit. Could somebody lend me a copy of "Proper Blogging Content" or "blogging for Dummies" (amz's suggestion). Or simply have the Guru of the internet come and learn me in the ways of the blogger.