Today I would like to discuss the recent rocket test launch in the west desert that was held yesterday. I, sadly, didnt make it to the launch, but i was very excited to hear how it went.
For those of you not in the know, ATK, a local aerospace company, is working on a new Ares Booster rocket, one that NASA was going to buy from them, and since ATK is a relatively local company they planned on testing this new rocket in the west desert, Box Elder Co.
As you can see, HUNDREDS of people showed up for this event. The actual count was upward of 10,000. We were encouraged by Alfonzo our gay physx professor to arrive before 11 am for a good seat to see the "test launch."
Of course he was there before 6am
Here is his story, retold in my own words, meaning without his "cute" lisp and funny descriptions and with my own personal spin of ironic sarcasm.
The ten thousand people sat in the blistering desert heat as the timer slowly counted down the minutes to the test launch. They all sat in camp chairs and many of them had bumberchutes (Robins for "Umberella") to try to keep the sun off.
The final countdown for a launch usually ticks off at T-60 seconds (T meaning launch time minus sixty seconds.) Usually at T-30 the crowd starts to get excited. At the T-20 mark the countdown starts to do the familiar 20, 19, 18... All the way down to 1 BLASTOFF! and then the superbowl begins and costume failures run amok.
But this time the clock stuck at T-20. Ten thousand red-blooded and sand ecrusted americans stare in awe at... nothing.
The little thingy that does the thingy that makes the thingy work didnt work.
10,000 people walked back to their cars with nothing to show for their time but a sunburn, and NASA threw another 75 million of taxpayers dollars down the pooper.
Now I'm glad i didnt go.
Another amazing breakthrough in science and discovery.
